So then guys after my big plans for this years modelling posted up for all to see in Jan I have so far failed to finish anything.
A few reasons for this, I'm lazy plus family life take first spot for all my free time.
I'm not one to share personal stuff but hey I've felt like screaming this out loud for the longest time, I just need to get this down somewhere, Get it off my chest, sorry.
My mum died this year in February, I knew it was coming because we were told Nov last year that she had about six months left, well she lasted three.
I've had a strange relationship with my mum over the last 43yrs some her fault and some mine, As I've got older and come to my senses I've realized not everyone is cut out to be a parent especially when your a single parent with mental illness like my mum was, I loved my mum and still do and are at a loss to understand why this is still killing me inside so much as it did the day she died, I think about her all the time and miss her so much.
Every day I put a face on and get on with life, It's been just over two months now and I'm sure things will get easier, My three boys have been a great distraction with the oldest being a rock through it all.
Yeah this is all life stuff and it happens but this is my life and its happening right now, To think I'm now the head of the family, all be it a small one, makes me laugh, You would too if you knew me.
Rest in peace Mum X.